The issue isn't as black and white as you’re making it out to be.
I never said that being passable inherently equates to safety, but rather that not passing equates to an elevated lack of safety. Those who pass can be just as at risk in public as those who do, arising from a myriad of factors including misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc. Passing merely means you’re not getting clocked for being trans, which can make you less at risk specifically from overt transphobia. Ask any trans man who passes about his before/after experience with transphobia in public. I also explicitly mention in the essay that getting clocked can make any situation unsafe very quickly.
Yes, I mention people posting pics in public groups asking if they pass because it’s a notable and often overwhelming phenomenon, and I’ve seen several groups ban posts of such a nature because it frequently overtakes the initial point of a group. I wouldn't do that, personally, but I would set time and space for such posts given their prevelance. I never say that his behavior is wrong, only that in a lot of online trans spaces, it has been necessary for it to be shifted to spaces that specifically focus on those concerns.
Seeking to pass is valid - which I say several times in my piece. My entire point is that it’s not a mandatory piece of being a trans person. It may be for you, but it’s not for everyone. You’d still be trans if you didn’t want or need to pass. That's the point, and that's the entire point, period. Passing is personal and many trans people experience it, but many others do not. That is to say, it’s not the main feature of what constitutes transness. If you're dysphoria or make an effort to pass, your transness will never be called into question within the trans community, but lots of other trans people are made to feel that they aren't "trans enough". Nobody gets talked over in our community more than non-dysphoric or moderately-dysphoric trans people in transmedicalist spaces.
The fact is that there are both needs and desires to pass. It is not a one-size-fits-all equation. Every transition looks different, and the reasons behind wanting to pass vary from person to person. There are people who want to pass who don't have gender dysphoria. There are people who don't want to pass who do. Your experience with the need to pass is not universal. I’m not saying that anybody should just cope with their dysphoria and accept if they don’t pass, just that we all address it in our own ways.
How can I talk over you as a dysphoric trans person when I’m also a dysphoric trans person? I wrote a piece and you were allowed to respond to it. You had that freedom. If you feel talked over, write an essay about your experience rather than trying to invalidate mine because it doesn’t perfectly line up with your own experience of dysphoria.
The point about “skilled laborers” and “burger flippers” is a magnificent and nonsensical example of a false equivalence. Saying that two things are different is not saying that they are unequal, nor is it saying that one deserves less than the other. I would never claim such a thing, and I never did.
I honestly can’t tell if you read my essay thoroughly, because you’re pulling out things of nowhere that I never stated. Where did I say that the need or desire to pass supports cisnormativity?
In fact, I say verbatim: "That is not to say that those who wish to be perceived as cis are merely falling prey to cisnormativity. Passing is valid if one desires it. Instead, the problem is the implicit expectation that trans people make a concerted effort to look “not trans” to be considered valid in their trans identity."
All I ever say is that passing isn’t (or at least shouldn't be) a requirement of being trans. Do you have a problem with the fact that there are other ways of being trans than the one you’re most intimate with? Your biggest issue with my essay seems to be semantic in nature, given that most of your complaints have nothing to do with what I actually wrote. You seem to take offense to the innocent conflation of the words "want" and "need" and read deeply into that where there is nothing deep or sinister to read into.
I very much wish you the best, and I welcome your disagreement here, but I'd lke to challenge you to avoid putting words in my mouth if you want (or need) to continue having this discussion.
