;Since choosing to publish on this platform, I have encountered TERFs more than I ever could in the real world because of the community fostered here for them. Medium.com is a place of discourse — good and bad, and TERFs have learned how to respond to trans folks in polite ways that will often piss off a trans person, but have your average cis person cocking their head in confusion. This is a gaslighting technique that puts trans people on the defensive. In my last few works, you might notice that I’ve ceased giving a fuck about trying to reach ignorance with knowledge.
The funny thing is, TERFy tactics have rather desensitized me to casual transphobia in a way that I cannot help but thank the TERFs for. Their ridiculous, undercutting, “boo-hoo, woe is me, but what about the cis?!” methods have shown me that their disconnect from humanity isn’t exactly curable by someone like me, and arguing with them is more than fruitless.
I can only ever teach people who want to learn, and so, I cannot be bothered to simplify down discourse for an ignorant, closed off mind. Coming out and beginning my transition has been a difficult journey in many ways, but it’s one that I had to embark on to save my own life. It’s also one that I had to open my own mind for and do research to properly understand. Working on oneself is hard, and if TERFs have shown me anything it’s that you cannot work on someone else for them. That’s intimate work and you have to want to do it.
As a person with the privilege to come out and transition safely, I am insulated from bigotry in a lot of ways. While I experience ignorance in public because of my womanhood and the apparent discomfort that my existence causes others, the comments I’ve experienced online for my trans-centered works have shown me clearly that TERFs are cowards who wouldn’t confront me in public. Why? Because TERFs stand on a foundation of self-hatred, whereas I stand on a platform of self-love.
Thank you, TERFs, truly, for showing me that I am on the right path.
I have learned that you simply don’t walk the road less traveled without tripping on a few roots hidden in the underbrush. And sometimes, a tree blocks the way and you must find out how to continue on. I could certainly stop and break that tree down into building materials, and I could use that tree to stop on my path and build a home… but why bother? Why would I plant myself on a foundation of trying to fix the ignorance of others? It doesn’t bring me joy.
I will be no less trans after arguing with a TERF, and they will be no less TERFy. Bigots must want to stop being bigots before they can listen to those they’ choose to attack
And honey, that’s not my path in life. I’m jumping over the trees, rocks, roots, and floods that block my path and will continue on to my destination, secure in the knowledge that the world is a beautiful place when you stop staring down at your feet.
Thank you, TERFs.
This immersion therapy has cured me of my sickness of needing to fix you ❤