So your child has come out as nonbinary. What now?

Shutterstock

I recently had a dear cousin come out as nonbinary, and it occurred to me that my previous articles on this topic may not be written in a way that helps cisgender people understand just what nonbinary means. I’ve never really written a “Nonbinary 101,” with most of my work having been written for an audience already allied to the trans experience. So, to help my aunt and uncle understand my little cousin’s identity, here is a follow-up to my piece, “what isn’t nonbinary?”

First, let’s assume that the person reading this is cisgender (not trans) and, outside of the occasional sensationalized segment on the local news, is entirely unfamiliar with trans and nonbinary identities. Nonbinary is one of many identities under the trans umbrella, though it also constitutes an umbrella term itself. But what does that mean? The best way to move forward here is to answer some basic questions to get you up to speed.

What is transgender?

Transgender, first off, is a label that means one does not identify with their assigned gender at birth (AGAB). Often shortened to “trans,” the word is an adjective that describes how someone relates to their gender and how they move through the world. Trans men or transmasc individuals are typically assigned female at birth (AFAB), while trans women or transfemme individuals…