People seem to be disagreeing with your title rather than the points you make within the essay itself.

It is not a ridiculous stance to insist that characters of marginalized identities should be handled with extreme care and with the input of someone of that identity. Yes, it's inconvenient to have to include other people in your writing process, but it's often necessary if you're writing about people whose life experience is significantly different from your own.

The Netflix documentary "Disclosure" highlights why "diversity" without representation in the writer's room can be so dangerous. For years, trans people have been depicted horribly on screen because we haven't been included in the writer's room. These depictions have had measurable impacts on actual trans lives, because we are a culture hugely driven by media. The idea that trans women are serial killers is still pervasive and a larger part of the cultural zietgeist and trans women being, well, people. It has been an uphill battle because of bad representation for us to be seen as anything other than monsters.

The point here is not to simply avoid writing queer characters if you're not queer, but to write what you know and bring in assistance in writing characters of marginalized identities.

In writing, it is always best to write what you know and call in help with what you don't.