Nope. This hot take is hot garbage.
I don't trash "born in the wrong body" by any stretch of the imagination, I merely address that it's not a default narrative to apply to every trans person who exists. In the same way that “transsexual” is no longer the designation that all people under the trans umbrella identify with, “born in the wrong body,” albeit valid in those who feel that way, does not apply to all of us and should not be applied to the trans experience without the consent of the person it’s being used to describe. As with the label “transsexual,” “born in the wrong body” is not an incorrect narrative if a person identifies with it - it’s merely not the default mode of operation, and cis people particularly shouldn’t be using such language outside of a specific person’s experience. Because, as you likely know, no single narrative can describe the experience of everybody in a marginalized group. Saying that I don’t like the color pink doesn’t invalidate or discredit those who do. And, naturally, saying that all trans people dislike the color pink because you heard me say that is excessively narrow in scope.
There is absolutely no conflation between binary and nonbinary trans people. Some of us straddle both labels. Trans is trans. Anybody who tries to separate the two ignores the lived experience of many, many people. To extract binary and nonbinary transness from each other is to pour several inks into a glass of water and then attempt to separate them into their component parts. Likely impossible, except by centrifuge or violent action.
Most trans people I know, binary included, do not gel with being born into the wrong body. This is a narrative projected upon us, often to justify gender-affirming healthcare that should be accessible regardless.
There is a utility to grouping binary and nonbinary people under the same umbrella, for the same reason that Trans people are included in the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. My experience is hugely different from that of a cisgender gay man, but historically our rights have depended upon each other’s actions. Our experiences can differ, but we unite for the power that it brings us in numbers.
Umbrellas are not about simplifying our experiences so that we are all of a common nature. Umbrellas exist simply to ensure that fewer people get left out in the rain. Pushing out a group of people from an umbrella because they don’t perfectly fit some prescribed narrative is antithetical to the queer movement, and is a mode of thinking best is left in the past. Inclusion is the wave of the future, even as people who think of themselves “transier than thou” hold onto antiquated conventions of what it means to be trans. Note - not what it means for themselves to be trans, but what it means for others as well. Such thinking is myopic. In essence, equality and inclusion are not finite slices of pie. Identifying both pie and ice cream as desserts does not detract from the fact that both can be enjoyed after a meal - often together.
Binary and nonbinary trans people can differ in many ways, yes, but we are united by the fact that we are all fighting for equality and require the support of the other to take steps forward, rather than spinning in place, infighting about who gets to call themselves trans and who doesn’t. We do not move forward as a community unless we can unite and take forward steps together. Attempts to isolate nonbinary and binary trans people will continue to cause us to fail in addressing the queer/transphobia that keeps us all from progressing as a community.
A person can feel as though they are born in the wrong body if that is authentic to their experience, but they do not get to apply that experience as a mandatory quality for what it means to be trans in general. Doing so inflicts pain upon our siblings who are just trying to exist and thrive under an umbrella that is necessary to the survival of us all.
I would never be so beholden to a specific narrative that I use it to draw a line in the sand and cause someone else to drown.
