Member-only story
Is it autism? ADHD? Trauma?
Does it matter?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer:
Throughout my life, I’ve found myself seeking answers for an endless cascade of “why’s.”
Why were my emotions so dysregulated?
Why was I not cisgender and straight?
Why was I so anxious and depressed?
Why did I both struggle with and crave routine?
Why was I unable to sit with my emotions — or sit still?
Why did I obsess over minutia?
Why did I form such deep connections with media while my relationships fell apart?
Why was my career so rocky?
Why did I eat the same foods over and over?
Why did others see me as condescending or pretentious?
Why couldn’t I let things go or enjoy parties and large groups?
Why did loud, unexpected noises leave me dysregulated for hours or days?
Why was I obsessed with words, being understood, and so deeply bothered by being misunderstood?
Why did life feel like swimming against a current?
Why did I feel so ill-adjusted to society?
