I think what you’re getting at is that masculine privilege is very much a thing, but penis privilege? That’s not a thing, outside of the difference in privilege between cis men and trans men. Those who grant you privilege based on your masculinity can’t see your penis. They can assume you have one, but who is to say, really?

We experience privilege on multiple spectrums, and the more feminine I’ve gotten, the more it’s become clear that male privilege was masculine privilege. Being perceived as masculine granted me invisibility in many parts of life that I do not experience now because of my femininity. My transmasculine friends who “pass” as cisgender men experience privilege that I, an AMAB transfemme person who doesn’t “pass” as a cis woman, does not. I’m not sure where the penis comes into play. A lot of my transmasc friends have packers that create a bulge. Is that where their privilege lies?

I know a lot of people born with vaginas who experience great privilege in this world. As they are perceived as men, none would say they are unprivileged by their vaginas, aside perhaps from receiving substandard healthcare as a result of being trans men. There are issues that trans men and AFAB nonbinary people face that cisgender women don’t. All of our experiences are unique, and we are marginalized in different ways.

I appreciate your desire to argue with me based on GCF talking points, but I have certainly never told anybody during an argument to “suck my girldick” and I don’t think I know anybody who has. That’s a strawman point, in much the same way as homophobes point to mean gays to justify homophobia. I am not that trans person, so why are you bringing them up? Is it maybe to justify a position you already hold firmly on?

You are bringing up hateful stereotype to me that, upon reading my post, you must realize I do not personally fulfill, prescribe to, or condone. Therefore, you are merely casting up a stereotypical caricature of trans women, then basically asking another trans woman to answer for it. I can’t. I can’t speak for trans people who lash out at those who cause them pain. I can’t speak for trans people who commit crimes I wasn’t privy to. Putting me in the unfair position of having to is something I want you to reflect upon, because it clearly has nothing to do with me or all trans women.

“Socialization.” Gender Critical Feminists. Buck Angel and ContraPoints. People born with vaginas. Penis privilege??? It all misses the point, and it brings up such a deluge of subjects all in one go that I don’t imagine you’ve come here in good faith expecting me to respond to all of it. You came in to mic drop a bunch of “gotcha!” statements. Where did I call Contrapoints a bigot? Where did I espouse any of this? Nowhere — this post is about nonbinary visibility, scrutiny, and inter-community gatekeeping. It’s not about gender critical feminists or their arguments at all (though you’re welcome to respond to one of my pieces that actually does call out gender critical feminists.)

You are applying an image of who you think I am upon me because you must think trans people a monolith if I should answer for every trans person who has inappropriately argued with a GCF.

My experience as a trans woman is different than that of a cisgender man. It’s also different than that of a cisgender woman, or a transgender man, or most nonbinary people. Our culture does not oppress or judge based on genitalia (aside from at birth to apply social roles), but on masculine and feminine, and punishes intersectionally based on an incredible number of factors, not the least of which is how much you push the boundaries of your assigned birth gender as perceived by the population at large. All feminine people experience some unprivilege based on their femininity, and in varying degrees. All physically masculine people experience some privilege based on physical masculine characteristics, and in varying degrees. Those who are “in between” and are perceived androgynous often experience massive scrutiny based on their nonconformity.

So yes, masculine privilege is real in a particular sense, but many trans people end up losing whatever privilege they had the moment they start transitioning and even just wearing gender-affirming clothes. Some trans people experience relative privilege compared to other trans people. It’s not a simple issue, but the reflex against the trans community is a reflex against the reality that gender exists on a spectrum. That makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but exclusion from spaces based on genitalia ultimately serves far more harm than good. Trans people are not exactly a large group of people, nor could we ever constitute a lobby. We are not exploding into spaces, we are merely becoming more recognized and therefore more visible, and slowly becoming more integrated in a society that has excluded us for a long time. When you dig deep, gender critical feminists are reactionary and often funded by homophobic organizations. They use outdated research, debunked studies, and uphold bigots who have been ousted from their fields for causing harm to a vulnerable community.

Ultimately, I will not be the one to change your mind on any of this, that will probably have to be the passage of time. Gender nonconformity and transness is not new and it’s not going anywhere. The fact that we are gaining traction and the right to use spaces and services that should be available to us is a watershed moment in our history that some people do vehemently disagree with. The thing is, bigots always have compelling arguments about why it’s best to hate, and why hate is actually love. It’s easy to be swayed by people who speak with righteous anger about those encroaching upon their status quo.

I hope you got what you needed out of your response to my essay, and I hope your journey to love and happiness is an easy one ❤